As Cupid busily prepares himself for love deliveries this Valentines Day, it’s interesting to ponder just how many people are sending those same loving intentions to themselves. Have you considered just how much you love yourself?
As a rule, it is much easier to express love towards others than it is to practise self love. We usually place ourselves last on the love list.
So how do we know if we are loving ourselves? Some of the basics might include taking time out or pamper yourself or treating yourself with loving kindness if you make a mistake. Alternatively, a lack of self love might be characteristic of saying yes when you really mean no, taking your work home with you or prioritising the needs of others before your own. These are all examples of ways that we place ourselves as a low priority and guarantee that your self love tank is running low.
Cupid’s arrival is as good a time as any to introduce ways to fill your love tank to the brim and start a love affair with the most important person in your life (that person is you by the way).
Here is a Self-Love Inventory to get you started:
1. Be Kind To Yourself – Often times our internal dialogue can be the voice of blame, shame, guilt or another emotion that carries with it a message of not being good enough. This voice is usually carried with you from childhood. It might be a “Don’t be silly” voice or a “Be quiet” voice. It is the voice that creates internal discord. Replacing those words with ones of kindness and love takes time and practise however, a good tip to start you off is to talk to yourself as you would your best friend or a small child.
This slowly trains the mind to use a more supportive internal dialogue.
2. Make Self Care a Priority -Self care increases loving feelings towards yourself, a grateful heart and elevates your mental health state. Without self care it is impossible to be the best version of yourself. It may be a morning walk or a mani pedi once a week, a coffee date with a mag or a fave book.
Anything that brings you respite and enjoyment. It is important to make self-care a priority in your life by putting time aside each day just for you.
3. Be Your Own Cheerleader – Now, I don’t mean shaking your pom poms in the air at the footy grand final. This is more about giving yourself the pat on the back you deserve for all the good stuff you do. It doesn’t have to be huge accomplishments. It can be for the little things like getting the baby to day care when you really had to forklift yourself out of bed, or for making a yummy dinner.
Congratulate yourself and celebrate the wins because you deserve it. This sends the message that you are good enough, capable enough and valued.
4. Surround Yourself With Amazing Peeps – You are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with. So, make your closest circle of friends good ones! Surround yourself with people who celebrate the person you are as well as your successes and low lights. This brings a sense of connectedness and joy.
Valuing who you spend your time with is one of the most important ways you can demonstrate love of self.
5. Access Compassion – Understand that you, like everyone else has experienced hardships. You’re not perfect. You’re human. You are learning. The one guarantee in life is that you will make mistakes. Torturing yourself with unkind comments and berating language is damaging. Understand that whatever your actions, you did the best you could at that time and that’s ok.
You will begin to see your self love blossom by nurturing yourself on a daily basis. As you begin to nourish your relationship with yourself, your relationship with others will also flourish. People will begin to gravitate towards you.
The love you show yourself will be mirrored in the way other people relate to you. It will take some time to turn these habits on their heads and give them their marching orders. But once you do, you will have paved the way for a deeper self love that even Cupid would be envious of!
Michelle Pietroboni is an Early Childhood teacher who currently works in an emotional healing capacity with young parents. She is passionate about living a joy-full and nourished life. Through her wellness journey she has recognised the importance love and joy play in living a fulfilled existence. She is dedicated to spreading love and joy through her professional work as well as her personal connection with others.
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