‘Forgiveness’ and ‘Letting Go’ are such simple words to say but sometimes they are very difficult, multi-layered concepts to put into practice.

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another and when someone we care about hurts us, forgiveness often does not come easily. If your mother has criticised your parenting ability, a partner hasn’t been truthful, a work colleague has taken credit for your idea …. these wounds can leave us with lasting feelings of resentment, bitterness, anger or vengeful thoughts.

When we hold on to these feelings and allow them to build up within us they begin to impact negatively upon our physical, mental, spiritual and emotional well-being.

What is forgiveness?

In essence, forgiveness is an intentional and voluntary process where we ‘decide’ to let go of the hurts and emotional pain we are holding as a result of someone else’s words or actions.

True forgiveness is done with compassion, without judgment, being willing to heal old wounds and to make different choices about how we are going to allow the experience to affect us.

Forgiveness can also even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt us. 

What did the action to be forgiven trigger within?

Often the level of anger and hurt we are feeling is only the ‘tip of the iceberg’ and has no real relevance to the ‘action’ that requires forgiveness but speaks to a different level of our being.

• Does it come from a lifetime pattern of dealing with issues?
• Is it because of low self-esteem and lack of self-worth?
• Does someone else need to be ‘wrong’ so we can be ‘right’?
• Are we just throwing our own ‘pity party’ and trying to draw others in and expecting them to take sides?

Who needs to be forgiven?

• Is it just the other person involved?
• Do we need to forgive ourselves as well?

What are the benefits of forgiving?

When we can let go of bitterness and anger we reach a happier, peaceful state of spiritual and psychological well-being, resulting in lower stress/anxiety levels, better health outcomes, reduction in hostility and symptoms of depression, healthier relationships with others (often with the person we are forgiving) and with ourselves.

How can we reach a state of forgiveness?

The first step is taking ‘responsibility’ for how we have allowed ourselves to be affected and making new decisions in a balanced way through the ‘Observer’ within.

Our inner ‘Observer’ is our quiet spiritual centre where we can look at the actions of others (and self) in a non-judgmental, non-biased way without emotional attachment or expectations of any predetermined outcome.

It is within this sacred space that we can honestly look at the larger picture, where we can find answers and resolution and a good way to move forward. It is where we can find the courage to speak our truth, in a quiet way.

Louise Voets is an Spiritual Intuitive and she brings her deep connection to Spirit that she has experienced since early childhood, her many years of life experience and Shamanic Training into her business HeartSong, where she offers readings, workshops and shamanic healing.

Connect with on her Facebook.