I write this blog today with a massive disclaimer – in being human we walk our own paths, and along the way we will meet each other at different parts of each other’s journey.
There is no benefit in casting a judgement on another or comparing – we all have our own life to live & story to share. People endure hardships, and the way they deal with them is their choice, and their journey. In sharing my viewpoint, it is to offer a few ways I have dealt with mine. To take back my power, and play an active role in creating what I wanted to be my reality.
As you know through previous blogs shared, I am not perfect and don’t always get things right.
Life has its twists and turns, there are days I wished I had dealt with people/situations a different way. Every step I took was the best I could at the time, and where I was at.
Here are a few tools I have used to come back to the essence of gratitude. Life has a funny way to give you things to learn, to share with others – learning to live a life with gratitude, is my journey. My choice.
Take responsibility on who turns up each day
The first time I read the story of Victor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor; was a pivotal moment in understanding how I played an active role in creating my reality.
Reading his story of horrendous circumstances and surviving physically, emotionally and mentally through a strongly held belief of being free within his own thoughts, gave me an understanding on how I can always choose, no matter how hard, painful, unfair or unjust. The way I interpreted, processed it and ultimately made this my truth, was my choice.
There are many things/people/situations who will influence us, and often they are completely out of our control. The essence of taking responsibility, is you can always choose how you “turn up”.
Stories taken from our family, our friends and/or society can ultimately be re-scripted, if we want to. The first step is awareness, and where a regular meditative practice will assist. Journalling and being conscious of patterns – is there a story you find yourself often repeating? Emotional triggers are your body telling you something – are you listening?
That person who is currently getting under your skin, draining your energy – what are they representing or reflecting for you? Without getting too deep, it can be they are giving you a gift: a chance to exercise compassion for another, an opportunity to set boundaries or the chance to say “no” and put your needs first, whatever it is, with the unveiling you can step back out of their story and into love.
Remember. We always have choice.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Victor Frankl
Affirmations work, what are you affirming?
We have heard and probably used affirmations for a long time now. Louise Hay, was a great advocate for using them. My view is we affirm every day and in every moment, through the words we say, the thoughts we have and where we choose to put our focus, we are continually interacting with the energy of the universe.
The question is: what are we affirming and is it what we want?
If we are re-telling a story of things that didn’t go our way, or spending time on things that don’t give us joy, then we are affirming this is where we want to expand.
If we keep in the energy of “wanting” then the universe conspires to keep it at bay – keeping you at the stage of “want” rather than present it to you.
And if the energy behind the affirmation is not felt with conviction and we are not in alignment, the universe doesn’t know how to respond.
Many people I work with, ask what if they cannot genuinely believe it, as it hasn’t manifested into their reality. I do not support the “fake it, to you make it” as detailed above, your alignment will be out.
Consider using this two step approach.
Step 1. Affirm that you are allowing the resistance to go by: ” I am willing/open to ….” and then’
Step 2. Bring in the affirmation in, after you have moved through the resistance,
Here are a few examples of affirmations, with the first one using the 2 step process:
” I am willing to…..always have plenty of time to put my needs first” and then, ” I always have plenty of time to put my needs first”
“I am open and willing to receive”
” I deserve all my dreams to come true”
” I love and respect myself”
“I know the universe has my back good things are coming my way”
We wrote a blog that provided Tips To Magnetise Your Affirmations, you may find it an interesting read.
Enjoy creating your own. Keep them vibrating strong with an emotional connection and a belief that they are true, and see how the universe/source responds.
Don’t ignore the “yucky” stuff, they often have the gifts
Last week I read a blog, “Gratitude Lists are B.S” it really caught my eye!
Once I got into the blog, I realised that there was a very important message. Gratitude is about embracing all emotions without judgment, and not just the warm and fuzzy stuff. Ignoring what you are feeling about things as they unravel, is not being authentic.
There will be times when being angry, lost, deflated and frustrated ( add any emotion you are feeling that is termed “negative”) is appropriate, and there will be practical things that need to happen for you be in balance. It doesn’t assist your process to ignore them however, you need to un-invite our good old friend of judgement from the co-creating party – as all emotions are real, and need to be honoured.
As with every moment, we have choices and often the challenges will present its gift in time – so embrace the discomfort, honour the emotions and when you have decided that emotion has been heard, processed and you are ready to move forward, then you can choose to use these tools to assist your next stage.
Creating a contract
I live my life open to hear what people want to share – its like, a “treasure hunt” of messages to be received each day. The other weekend someone shared her process of writing a contract of the way you want, and then sign it between you and the universe – fantastic idea!
Now, before you scoff and feel this is a waste of time or you don’t have the time – I urge you to reconsider.
The power of the written word is immense – why not use it to create what you want? Writing a contract is also a great exercise of being clear on what you want ( and what you wont accept) – clarity is key in manifesting. Too often, we fall into the category of focussing and talking about what we don’t want.
And then, with a seal of gratitude I recommend you enlist your ‘peeps’ to execute.
Here’s an exercise I once read, appoint a CFO ( to focus on your financial outcomes) and COO ( to focus on the operations) on your Angelic/Soul Purpose Board and in your daily morning practice, assign outcomes to your leadership team to be delivered as support to your life’s purpose ( remember not micro-tasks, rather a high level outcome and brief you would give a leader on your team).
Then as the CEO of your life go ahead with ease, knowing that your team has it under control.
Try it out, what do you have to lose?
Expect more
As you know from a previous post, I have been enjoying my new book, “Earth is Hiring” from Peta Kelly – do yourself a favour, its a must read.
In it, she shares a practice that I have been bringing into my day, asking the question : “Can it get any better than this?” I use this when things are not going my way, and I find it gives clarity on next steps or a different way to look at things. I have also use it when things are going great – as an invitation to the universe to show me more of what I have – we need to start believing we can have what our heart desires, we deserve it.
Use the question over the next week and see what presents: I am getting amazing replies and you will too.
And this leaves me to the last tool – scripting.
Scripting
Today, I found an old journal and was reading through my reflections of the year. Admittedly, it had been a tough year and things I had planned did not go according to my script – the old one, mapped it out on a timeline, set dates and expectations.
With scripting, you are invited to write what you want to have occur in your life, your business, relationship, an event – whatever you are creating, and to do it in a future or present text, as it has already occurred. You write this, with the emotion of what you would feel, the visuals you would see and what would be happening in the present.
Once you have written it, you keep the energy flowing by reading it each day, with the view that you are experiencing it in the now.
It is such a powerful exercise to do, you are co-creating with the expectation that it is already here. You are vibrating at the level required to attract what it is you are scripting. The power of the written word is one you should be mindful of, it creates an energy of attraction.
So when I read my 2017 journal, it was clear to me now that my disappointments, and unmet expectations were setting myself up for more, as I wrote in the past tense and not being aware I had the way to influence the future.
I share this as a way to let you know, I am not perfect – I am human, and with it, I am learning everyday. What I can do to co-create with the universe, and when times get tough how to bounce back, as sometimes we can lose our way.
Fast forward to now I am sitting here writing you my weekly blog, breathing in the sense of contentment that is now in my life, grateful that I am where I have landed, and knowing all that transpired was in the highest good.
Things had to unravel – why? because I had placed too much responsibility on my shoulders, to be fair no-one but myself ask me to do that – it was my own pattern of needing to do “more” to be valued, to be loved.
The intention of our Gratitude community is still very alive and strong, and more is unfolding in beautiful alignment – I cant wait to share. The dreams I had, will be fulfilled in a way I couldn’t have planned, it will be better, brighter and expansive, and it was when I got out of the way of the “how” and the minute steps, and surrendered that I invited the best way forward to reveal itself.
And this is what I invite for us all. To be kind to ourselves, we are doing the best we can, with what we have – why wouldn’t we? Be open to receive all we desire, it is our birthright to be happy and feel loved. Surround yourself with people who hear us, believe in us and support us and this comes from us giving this to ourself first. Gratitude is the way I come back to the now for the co-creation, it expands my the way I view the world, raises my vibration and continually attracts all that is meant to come.
Deborah Shepherd, Founder of Gratitude
Spanning 30 years of international corporate project, people and event management, and with a focus on community and collaboration she combined her marketing and sales background to deliver a business model showcasing the purpose-driven entrepreneur via wellness festivals, publishing and online marketing platforms.
She also offers consulting and mentoring services to purpose-driven businesses who want to create a way to connect, and share their message to a wider audience.
Big ‘thanks” for the photo by: