If you are reading this, and are a subscriber or follower of these pages, then in many ways I am preaching to the choir. The message of Love and Compassion as the foundational energy of unity, transformation and wellbeing does not need to be explained.
Healers, empaths, yogis, spiritual leaders, seekers, meditators, the wounded and healed, parent and child, friend or lover…..we all know Love and Compassion is the ultimate balm and state of being to cultivate, inhabit and radiate.
With the convergence of spirituality, science, mysticism, relational psycho-neurobiology…..and quantum physics even….they are all not only beginning to agree but are also providing research and proof that the practices of Love and Compassion hold the answer to relieving much of life’s suffering, war, disease and pain.
I wonder then, what is stopping us? What is blocking us from practising Love and Compassion? How come we find it hard to do, or at least, to do it in a sustained way?
Teaching, celebrating, healing and holding with love and compassion is the ‘bread & butter’ of my work as a life & love celebrant, relationship coach and consultant at end-of-life. In the context of my work, I often will approach Love and Compassion as an intentional skill set and an ‘explicit’ mindfulness act. Love and Compassion can indeed be a ‘practice’; a muscle we ‘exercise’ and ‘develop’; a daily ‘habit’ and ‘ritual’ that we must deeply embed. My therapeutic goal is to support the ability to lead with Love and Compassion as a default setting.
But that is not the full picture. We must always remember and trust that Love and Compassion are also ‘implicit’ in our being. At our core, we are co-regulatory beings. We NEED each other for surviving and thriving. If we can get out of our own way, and evolve beyond our ‘learned programs’ about competition, individualism and separateness, our very human nature and instinct truly does gravitate towards coherence, symbiotic union, collaboration and love.
Our very biology will also lead us to Love and Compassion.
In truth, Love and Compassion aren’t hard and elusive. They are not commodities, abilities or things that you have to ‘get’, ‘earn’, ‘seek and look for’ or ‘create’. They are simply states of being; an energetic frequency to tune into; an arrival at a specific consciousness – ‘remembering’ or ‘recognition’. Consider Love as Rumi’s drop of water that can’t be separated from the whole of the ocean. It just is. One with everything.
A powerful ‘light-bulb’ moment for me was when I dropped my beliefs framed in ‘duality’ thinking and began to look at the world in terms of ‘polarities’. Duality thinking suggests an either/or reality. A polarity worldview accepts the undeniable ‘wholeness’ of life that can move along a spectrum of infinite possibility. Everything is, and exists, within one container of limitless possibility.
I think of Love as being that container. There is nothing that is not held within the expression of Love. It is just whether we choose to see it, feel it, focus on it, tune into it, reflect it, express it, be it. And that is a matter of consciousness.
Compassion, when you look at the Latin root of the word, means ‘suffer together’. We are all an expression of the possibilities within the container of life & love. We are not separate. We are all drops from the one ocean. In this way we cannot not all ‘suffer together’ – be in compassion – we just need to be more consciously loving with ourselves and each other and mindful of where we are on that spectrum of infinite possibility.
Much love, Sarah.
Sarah Tolmie – Life & Love
Holistic Celebrant, Coach & Consultant
Sarah Tolmie is a holistic celebrant, therapist and coach; a volunteer hospital chaplain and end-of-life consultant. Sarah brings a unique approach and diverse professional competencies to care for individuals, couples and families through all their life & love passages, changes, challenges and transitions.
Her focus is on supporting and nurturing relationships; teaching love-based skills & communication; cultivating personal authenticity & emotional resilience; and celebrating life & love.
To find out more, visit: www.sarahtolmie.com.au